Typical Follower thoughts

Dancing at social dances with a partner who I've never danced with before, who is far more advanced than me and who I have spent the evening watching pulling all kinds of fancy moves is a terrifying experience for me that mercifully takes place rarely. I much prefer to dance with a partner from my class who I know, safe in the knowledge that we're both low enough down the chain to laugh our way around the dancefloor through our mistakes.

This is what my brain looks like as a beginner tango follower with an advanced leader:

Uh oh. Teacher/other experienced or unknown dancer is coming my way. Look away! Look away! Look up! Try to grab another man at your level! Oh shit! No men as usual. Too late. Okay, stay calm. No need to panic, you can do this. Put your poker face on. Legs, stay coordinated. Shoes, be good.

Ah ok so far so good. We're moving on the same feet. Not too bad here is this Bollybutton? Just gaze at that really interesting button on his shirt and let yourself g..what? Oh rats, I should have crossed there. Ok he doesn't look bothered, try again... missed again. Crap! Ok he's trying one last time... there you go. Phew!

I'm moving, this is fine, figures of eights I can do these thanks to all those hours practising due to the man drought since we... blocked? What do you mean blocked? So here I go, up and over and awaaaayyy...not away? Gancho time! Arrggh what a mess. I hate ganchos! Damn you ganchos!

Never mind, keep going Bolly. I see us settling into a nice rhythm here, keep your eyes on that button so that you... what the hell was that?! What did he just do? I don't know what he just did! Was I supposed to do something too? It looked fancy so maybe we haven't been taught how to.. oh. It's over.

After the Christmas party, Teacher threatened to ask one of the Unknown Fancy Men to dance with me at the next party to help me learn to dance with different levels. Okay, he didn't threaten, he made a valid point. But it sounded like a punishment to me.

Once again this weekend the school threw one of their parties. It was all going so well and then one of the Unkown Fancy Men approached. I waved my hands around in the fashion of saying "I'm a beginner! You don't want to do this!" before my friends shoved me onto the dancefloor. I thought ok, he doesn't know me so as an advanced dancer he will take it easy with me.

Ha!!

Tango babies are easy to single out. We dance in an open embrace and our heels are not the pencil stiletto type that the advanced ladies wear while holding their partners close. I stepped onto the floor in my baby heeled shoes and took up my usual open embrace position. Unknown Fancy Man (UFM) suddenly pulled me into a close embrace and without giving me a second to realise what was happening, he launched us onto the dancefloor.

Quelle horreur! In a close embrace you can see nothing. You're looking over your partners shoulder and dancing chest to chest, so there goes any peripheral contact with what his feet are doing. Add to this my newly discovered trick of dancing without glasses and I was as blind as a bat. I'm sure it's a wonderful way to dance once you've been taught how to compensate for this.

UFM was pulling fancy moves left right and centre. It was a nightmare! I had not the slightest idea what I was doing or what I was supposed to do. I threw my pals "Save Me!" looks of panic when we danced past them. It was as if my precious months of tango dancing had been flushed down the toilet. All the while UFM was soldiering on. And my thoughts read like this:

Whoops

Ooops

Ummmm

Whoops

Whoops

Yikes

I think I just stepped on his foot

Help me!

Why is this song so long!

I have a feeling this particular UFM will never ask me to dance again. When the song ended he smiled, shrugged and departed. He looked a bit disappointed, but personally I think he should have cut me some slack, because I struggled from the beginning so it wasn't even as if I was faking that I knew what I was doing. My face was burning from the misery of a ruined dance and soon after, the party ended and I went home.

Close embrace is the way I would love to dance tango one day eventually. But not without knowing how to do it right.